Geriatric Sex

Posted by on Mar 8, 2012 in Songs

Geriatric Sex

TUNE: There will always be an England


I’m sixty and I’m sexy

At least that’s what I hear

From the programs seen on TV

And the talk shows on the air.

The magazines and articles

By some authority,

Are telling me at sixty

I’m as sexy as can be


I’m seventy and sensual

Though it really doesn’t show

Geriatric experts tell me

I’m mature and all aglow

They say hidden wells of passion

Are bubbling up in me

And at seventy I’ve hit my peak

Of sensuality!


Oh I’m eighty and I ought to,

There’s no time to put things off.

No excuses like ‘I’m breathless’

Or, ‘exertion makes me cough’!

For I’m told I still have fires

That I didn’t know I had

And I tell my partner this, but

When I wake him, he gets mad!


Now I’m ninety and I’m naughty

And there’s nothing new to me.

I’ve been having sex since sixty

And I’m tired as can be.

And I’m telling you a secret,

Tho’it’s one that you must keep

When I get to be a hundred